Everything's relative

If you’re outside when a thunderstorm starts, what do you do? Run inside? Enjoy the moment? What might your family members do?

Last summer a thunderstorm interrupted my run. I was just far enough away from home to be concerned about the possibility of getting hit by lightning if I continued, so I called home for backup. As I waited for my son’s car I bumped into Bob. Bob appeared unaffected by the storm and was meandering to his home with a relaxed smile on his face. He told me there was no chance of a lightning hit and suggested I continue walking home and enjoy the experience.

What had just happened? Had I reacted in a hysterical way or was I simply hysterical compared to Bob? Compared to a different person’s response mine may have appeared measured and patient. Compared to Bob, I was reactive. I wonder if I had encountered someone in a panic if I would have appeared calm – simply by comparison. Everything’s relative.

Next time you find yourself in a situation that invites the possibility of polar responses, try the opposite of what you might normally do and watch what happens. Do it with a relative and see how fast your loved one notices the change. You will be opening up space for you and those around you to start different interactional patterns. Change can be good. (Originally posted 12/11/12)