On Being On Time…and Respect

So…in an odd turn of events, I was early to two appointments the other day. One was a dental cleaning and the other was a celebratory coffee with a dear friend. By early I mean 15 solid minutes early. How did that feel? Awesome! In both cases I had time to relax, breathe, feel good about being early, and in one case I sat in the car and paid a few bills. How productive!

I want to be clear, I’m not known as being chronically late, I simply get places on time. By on time I mean, literally, within seconds, AT the appointed time. The other day’s experiences taught me that being, what I will now formerly refer to as “on time”, can be stressful. A few minutes early will become my new on time - or at least I’m setting that as my intention.

Have you ever heard the adage attributed to Eric Jerome Dickey: “Early is on-time, on-time is late, and late is unacceptable”? I wasn’t exposed to this philosophy until my 40s when my niece, having been raised in a military family, shared with me that her parents raised her with this at the core of their time philosophy . Maybe if I had been raised that way I would have learned the virtues of arriving ‘early’ much younger. OR, as things sometimes play out, I would have rebelled against the rigidity of these time rules and become that late person. There is no way to predict outcomes because we’re odd, interesting creatures, aren’t we?

There’s value in teaching our children that being on-time is one way to show respect to others. And living by the above quote is one way to approach things. There are other ways as well. Some people live by the belief that being five minutes late is within socially acceptable parameters. Others find it offensive. Problems occur when we’re interacting with people who live by different assumptions regarding time and therefore make different meanings of their and our actions.

Talking about these things can help eliminate or reduce misunderstandings...but that’s always my solution. No big surprise, I AM a therapist!