Pokémon Go? Or Pokémon NO!

Like most popular new apps introduced via technology, people are often split in their responses. Is this new game, which is likely being played by over 9.5 million users (good estimate from mid-July) good or bad or neither or both?

We've all read that users ("trainers" in Pokémon terms) may be finding themselves in precarious places while they're mesmerized by the draw of catching these geo-located characters to attain higher levels of achievement in this augmented reality game. 

I'm a 54 year old woman and, no, I don't play the game. Why? Because I'm simply not interested and don't choose to spend my free time using my iphone MORE. I also have a marriage, a family, a therapy practice, and more to nurture. Time, for me is my most precious and fleeting resource. I choose face to face interactions over technology as often as I can.

I do however, have two mid-20s sons and daughter in law who are more likely to play Pokémon Go simply because they're the target demographic. At last count 1/3 of them play. One participates enthusiastically and competitively, while the other two don't play because they don't want to give up that much privacy to 'the Google.' All good, all none of my business.

If I were a parent of younger children it would be my business. I would (and you do, if you have young children) have some decisions to make. First, at what age am I willing to buy my child a smartphone, and what are my reasons? As a family therapist I think about how families make decisions. Do both parents (married or not) contribute to the decision? What are the terms? Some ideas: 

1) Is it understood that the child gets the phone provisionally based on a set of expectations and consequences for non-compliance? Recommended: "As your parents we've decided to give you this phone to use. Because we're the 'owners' of the phone, the password is one we share. We will periodically check your phone so we can insure your cyber-safety because it's our responsibility. If we find a locked phone (password changed!) you will lose the phone for a period of time and we will re-assert our boundaries. This is a policy we will revisit several times as you grow up."

2) What apps are appropriate for your children? You have a say as the parents. Yes, it will be a regular negotiation, but you're in charge, parents!

3) How old is old enough for a child to be playing Pokémon Go? What age is too young? I want to encourage parents to decide this based on each child, your own values, and with SAFETY as our number one priority. The game can be fun, for sure, but it can also be a 'time suck' that takes away from important interpersonal interactions that your kids need as they develop into the independent adults you want them to be.

As is almost always the case, there are no absolutely right or wrong decisions when it comes to whether or not your kids use Pokémon Go. As parents, use your best judgement and pay attention. Yes, the "yes" or "no" can be revisited. But let it be on your terms and with safety as your guide.