Procrastination

Happy new year! How much longer can I legit offer that greeting? A few more weeks. I made up that rule. I'm focusing on the date because I have not published a blog post since November 29th. 2017. I Skipped right over the holidays. It wasn't my plan. It just happened.

"It just happened" is a phrase people use to explain why they did something, or maybe didn't do something. Not my favorite. I consider it an excuse, especially when I utter it. I can only speak for myself here when I say that "it just happened" lacks accountability. So instead of leaving it at that, I will explain why I have not blogged in over two months.

I've procrastinated. I've lacked the follow through required to think, write, edit, re-write, publish, and 'broadcast' my message on social media and via email. There, I said it. Hey, I've written a lot of potential blog posts that I just didn't finish. I've jotted down ideas for future blogs but didn't write them. Truth be told, I haven't been too busy either. I simply haven't done it. So I don't have an excuse, just an explanation.

Why does this matter to you? Maybe it doesn't, but if it does it may be because you can relate to having put things off until, well, later.

How does this relate to relationships? Can you come up with some things you've put off in your relationships? Do any of these sound familiar?

-Avoiding speaking to your spouse or partner about finances

-Wishing you and your neighbor can resolve 'that issue' but not doing anything about it

-Hoping your child will decide for her or himself to reduce screen time, but not using your parental authority to create a new structure to support it, regardless of your child (temporarily!) being angry with you

-Shying away from the talk you need to have with your aging parents about their end of life wishes

-Sidestepping the direct conversation you want to have with a loved one about how their substance abuse is affecting you

Do you have a plan to take that next first step in your life and relationships that will move you forward in 2018...or simply move you forward today? What is it? What's your anti-procrastination plan today?

Post-Thanksgiving: Pleased, Relieved, Sad?

In our country, we pause during the last Thursday in November every year to commemorate Thanksgiving. The holiday has many meanings but primarily we gather with friends and family to eat, drink, and be merry. Some of us serve meals in houses of worship and community centers to those in our midst who don't have another place to go for a warm meal and a kind word.

Regardless of your tradition, it's fair to assume we're all around people with whom we share some sort of relationship; bound by genetics, choice, or circumstance. And when human beings gather... things happen. We share food, we have opinions about the food as well as opinions about each other's choices, and the state of our intimate worlds as well as the ever-changing world around us.

Now that I've so gently set this up...I'll ask this: did any of you fight with your parents, siblings, extended family, or anybody else over Thanksgiving? Was it awkward? Were your expectations high and you found yourself disappointed? Or, are you relieved that things went pretty well this year? Today do you feel pleased, relieved, or sad? Or something else? With whom are you commiserating or celebrating..."The family you choose", aka your friends? Your coworkers? Somebody else?

let's admit it...bottom line...Wednesday night through Sunday night with a lot of people in your space or being out of your normal routine can be stressful. How do you and those important to you handle stress? Do you clam up, grin an bear it, talk about it, let it go? We've all learned ways of coping through our life experiences. Some ways of coping work better than others and affect outcomes of long holiday weekends.

I've had my share of Thanksgiving weekends of each 'flavor.' I've walked away regretful, exhausted, sad, and thrilled. Some years all four! This year, I must admit, was wonderful! We had thirteen adults who all behaved, shared the work, and enjoyed each other. No babies, toddlers, or teenagers though...maybe that's why!

How about you?